


Never Have I Ever Been Bad At Sex

by crystalkei



Series: Never Have I Ever Actually Fallen In Love [6]
Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24381883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalkei/pseuds/crystalkei
Summary: “You’re bad at sex!” she said. Not even the least bit embarrassed by the harsh statement.“I’m what?” Paxton was caught off guard. “No I’m not!”Devi shrugged as if she was doing him a favor. Someone should tell him, if it had to be her, then so be it. Tough love.
Relationships: Paxton Hall-Yoshida/Devi Vishwakumar
Series: Never Have I Ever Actually Fallen In Love [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761826
Comments: 21
Kudos: 138





	Never Have I Ever Been Bad At Sex

It’s me, John McEnroe again. It’s been a minute since we’ve caught up with Devi and while we’re skipping ahead a little, don’t worry, we’ll go back and cover all the stuff you missed eventually. For instance, the explosive breakup with Ben Gross over the student council elections, Fabiola’s minor robot rebellion, Kamala’s defense of her dissertation, and the time Devi got to save Paxton at prom from the kids who put on a Buffy The Musical revival. (No, Eleanor was not involved no matter what people think.) But for now we’re gonna pop in on this event that Devi would consider a big moment for years to come. No, not her deflowering, wow, that’s gross! We’re talking about a different moment although come to think of it I don’t even want to be here but it turns out the other narrators are out getting cold brew and I’m the only guy left. Anyway, what’s happening with Devi and Paxton? 

“I just got caught up in everything because I was finally having sex with Paxton Hall-Yoshida!” Devi pulled her hoodie, well his hoodie, over her head. 

“Can you please not say it like that?” 

“Like what?”

Paxton threw up his hands. “Like we haven’t been dating for weeks! Like we haven’t been friends for like a year, it’s been forever since you were just the medium hot Indian girl in a wheelchair so can you please stop referring to me like the upperclassmen you have a weird crush on!”

McEnroe: Paxton would regret his request for Devi to refer to him simply as her boyfriend in three, two, one...

“You’re bad at sex!” she said. Not even the least bit embarrassed by the harsh statement. 

“I’m what?” Paxton was caught off guard. “No I’m not!” 

Devi shrugged as if she was doing him a favor. Someone should tell him, if it had to be her, then so be it. Tough love. 

“It’s not that surprising. Hot girls probably just didn’t want you to feel bad! Or worse, maybe they didn’t know any better.” She put her hand on her forehead. “Oh my god, are hot people just having bad sex? Do they even know it can be good sex?”

Paxton stood up, grabbing his own shirt and putting it on. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

McEnroe: me either, P. H. Y. 

“Where are you going? This is your house!” Devi followed him out of his room and out the front door. 

“I’m taking you home.” He opened the Jeep door for her, gesturing for her to get in. 

“I don’t want to go home,” Devi said, annoyed. He was being too sensitive. 

“Well you can’t stay here.” 

Devi huffed before tossing her bag in the Jeep. 

The drive back to her house was uncomfortable, punctuated by Paxton looking at Devi (safely at stop lights and stuff, c’mon, he has never had an accident and despite his teenage boy status, his parents’ insurance company loved him.) and Devi looking at him but never at the same time. Devi knew she should say something but when Paxton’s feelings were hurt it didn’t really matter. Nothing she could say helped. 

“There was just a lot of pressure,” he said at the stoplight before her neighborhood. “And I didn’t really get to prepare or whatever.”

“You needed to prepare?” Devi asked, confused. “Is it about my small boobs? Because-“

“Devi, no, I don’t care about that! You make me sound like such a jerk.” He scrunched up his face, frustrated before the car behind them honked. He pushed the gas suddenly, causing them both to jolt. “Sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” Devi looked out the window. “It wasn’t that bad. Just coulda been better.”

“Maybe next time you can give me more direction. On what you like or whatever?” He was trying too hard to be cool when he really did not feel it. 

McEnroe: this seems like a good time for me to interject and tell you that Devi had not yet told her mother that she was dating Paxton. I’m sure you recall that Nalini Vishwakumar was not Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s biggest fan. 

“Oh god, your mom is home.”

Devi shrunk down in the seat and covered her face. “Go around the block, around the block!” She swatted at Paxton and he also slunk down as best he could while still driving. 

“Should I drop you off at the corner?”

“Drive back to school. I’ll walk from there.”

“You can tell her you were at robotics with Fabiola,” Paxton offered. 

“Good call.” She swatted his arm again. “How did you know she had robotics today?”

“I paid attention when she was talking at lunch.”

“Where was I? Oh,” Devi smiled fondly to herself. “Stuffing myself with chili cheese fries.” 

Paxton smiled at her. 

“What? It’s not my fault Lunch Lady Dolores knows exactly the right cheese to chili ratio!” 

“If you want to try and have sex again, I will try to be better at it and make sure you enjoy it as much as you enjoy the chili cheese fries.” He looked embarrassed. Maybe not the best use of language. “But if you don’t want to have sex again that’s fine too.”

“I just don’t get how-“ Devi started but was quickly cut off. 

“The only thing you were interested in was having sex with me. That’s literally how you introduced yourself to me. There was a lot of pressure.” 

“But that was forever ago.” Devi put her hand on his knee as he pulled into the school parking lot. “And I didn’t really know you were like a person with-“

“With what? A life? I was just a sex machine swim star?”

Devi cringed. “Yes, but you thought I was a weird nerd so aren’t we kind of even?”

Paxton turned off the car. “I guess. Maybe? A lot has happened since then and now you’re telling me I’m bad at sex when you barely gave me a chance to…”

“Do you wanna try again, right now?” Devi asked eagerly. 

Paxton shook his head. “I’ve had sex in the Jeep and it’s not going to be better.” 

“Is this because I’m not a virgin? Because Ben and I-“

Paxton put his hand over Devi’s mouth before she could go on. He didn’t like thinking about the fact that for a hot minute he lost the love triangle competition to a guy who ironed his jeans. Also didn’t really feel good about constantly being reminded that Ben Gross was probably smarter than him. Which is why he was fine with Devi not telling her mom about the new dating situation. 

“Devi, stop.” He started to lift his hand away from her mouth. “Sorry.”

“I was going to say it took a while to, you know, get in the swing of things so I’m sure it will get better.” 

Paxton got out of the car and walked around to open Devi’s door. The sun was starting to set and it was just a quick walk to Devi’s house from school but he didn’t want her walking in the dark. She got out and let him shut the door behind her before leaning on it. 

He leaned next to her, hands in his pockets, and bit the inside of his lip. “You’re good at so many things, you’re smart and you are so good at playing the harp and you speak Chinese. And I swim. And I’m popular. Which is really more of a weakness because popular people do not let you step out of line. You make one mistake and you’re on the bottom again.”

McEnroe: Paxton had let loose the secret terror of being a popular kid. It wasn’t all cool parties and people worshipping you. Although there was a lot of that. But like being the bad boy of tennis, there was a certain expectation that Devi had never considered the popular kids suffered from.

“You’re good at things.” she said, sliding her hand around his forearm, coaxing his hand out of his pocket so she could hold it. “For one, I’ve never seen anyone put together an IKEA shelf without the directions and not have any leftover pieces. That’s like top shelf useful skills. I like you for more than your sex machine swim star body.” 

Paxton squeezed her hand, and let out a small laugh. “And I like your small boobs and your big, beautiful brain.” 

Devi leaned into his side. “I’m gonna tell my mom we’re dating. I promise.”

“Whoa, do not feel like you have to do that quickly because of me. I am very okay with her not knowing for a while.”

“You’re scared of her aren’t you?” Devi asked, a half smile forming. 

“Isn’t everyone? She’s mean! One time I went to her office to get a skin tag removed and even her staff cowers, she’s scary.” 

“Good, because originally I was thinking I’d tell her when I graduated medical school but maybe now it can be when I finish my bachelors.”

McEnroe: I don’t know if they’ll still be dating when she finishes either of those degrees but I’m not omnipotent so we’ll all have to check back on that. 

Devi turned and put her chin on Paxton’s shoulder so he could turn and kiss her. “You’re a very good kisser Paxton Hall-Yoshida.”

“Please, Devi, just call me your boyfriend,” he said, resting his forehead on hers. 

“You’re a very good kisser, boyfriend.” She leaned in and kissed him again, reaching for that very nice jawline. 

McEnroe: this is a rollercoaster of teenage emotions and I want to get off. I hope the other guys brought me a cold brew back because I deserve it after this. All is well now, so we’ll check back later because I don’t think they’re gonna finish kissing anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new here so feel free to comment or follow me on tumblr at cupcakesandtv!


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